On the back of my mother

Jordan here: One of the things you’ll see here in Ghana, especially in rural and/or northern regions is babies on backs of their mothers. There are no fancy designer baby-carrying backpacks, no ergonomically constructed car seats with built in seat belts, no Jumping Johnnys, no sterilized pacifiers, no teathing biscuits, and no technologically advanced no-leak guaranteed “disposable” diapers. Only a piece of Ghanian fabric that measures 1 yard by 2 yards attaches (and separates) babies to their mothers. Babies definitely get a different view of life as they grow up that they would in America. Wherever the mothers go throughout the whole day, the young children are there as well. There are very few opportunities for child care and hence all of the hard work that women are doing, they’re also doing it with another life on their back. On market day, women trudge their goods by hand (or more likely on their head) to their place in the market grounds, lay down their tarp, and sell their goods usually having to travel to get to a market town. All this with her young children. So many times I’ve gone to market, purchased something from a woman who bags my things gives me my change, holds a conversation, and does this all with a child attached to her breast. These children grow up literally going everywhere their mothers go. Every day is “Take Your Child to Work Day”. When the woman is tying the baby to her back, she simply leans forward, lays the baby belly to her back, never worrying that the baby might slide off. The babies almost appear to instinctually assume ‘piggy-back’ position when in contact with the back of a woman and hold on like they were taught in the womb.

In America, babies are treated like eggs that are fragile and need to have their head and necks supported at all times and should be played Baby Einstein to promote healthy brain development. Here, babies bounce around like ragdolls, and rarely (relatively) cry about it. Another thing we were thinking about the other day: Babies don’t really have poddy breaks, or long lasting diapers, and these babies are always on the mothers’ backs…where does the, uh, stuff go? Maybe they have a system that I’m not seeing, but I personally wouldn’t want to have that against me all day.

Now, I’m not saying women here or women in America have it wrong; its not my place to say. I know how I will want to raise my children, but this is just a cultural opportunity. The title of this blog post is meant to be literal and symbolic. These children live and develop by their mothers’ teachings and hard labor. They develop their point of views, mindset of life, and roles in society in this way. This is one thing children and mothers share in common with children and mothers in America: their lives are supported and shaped on the backs of their mothers…

Things my parents taught me: “Life’s not fair” and “Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it”

Sarah here…finally! Jordan and I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. And since Jord usually preps our blog entries at night when I am doing lesson planning, I haven’t written a blog in ages! I really liked his idea of blog entries about things our parents have taught us/values they’ve instilled in us because we definitely reflect on those things on a daily basis! It’s very humbling to think of all of the sacrifices our parents made for us and all of the opportunities they provided us – we love you and can’t thank you enough, and we owe this experience to you!

My first entry for this topic is: “Life’s not fair…Sometimes you have to grin and bear it”. These lessons were given to me by both of my parents. When I was little, I was always saying “But Dad, that’s not FAIR!”, and his response would always be “Sarah, life’s not fair”. In saying that, my Dad was not only trying to get me to realize that life is indeed not always fair, but that we have to accept it and deal with it and make the most of the situation. This truth has shown itself to me in so many ways here. First, and the most petty, was when we first got our site placements, and saw all the people that were headed to sites by or near the beach, and we found out we were headed to a site just south of Burkina Faso! That’s not fair! But then we got to our site, and realized that it fit us perfectly, and was probably the closest site for us to our best friend Kelsey when she came to Ghana in December for her job . We can always go to the beach for vacation J. We were also frustrated about the fact that we are very far from either of the PC sub-offices that volunteers can visit anytime to use the computer, have some R&R, cook in ovens and sleep with fans J. That’s not fair! But again, we are blessed to be close to two other volunteers that were placed to the bigger cities to the north and south of us that have those same amenities. I also reflect on the fact that “Life’s not fair” for many people here. Why was I born into a life of opportunity and many people here were born into a life of hardship? Why do many kids have to suffer in our village from sickness because of poor sanitation and play with toys made out of discarded tomato tins when so many kids back home have so many toys they don’t know what to do with them? I don’t have answers to these questions, but I just remember my Dad saying “Life’s not fair” and realizing that the only thing I can control about “Life” in general is the attitude I have about the situations I encounter. Thanks Dad!

My mom, through action and not necessarily through word, was always demonstrating to me the lesson “Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it”. Life can be tough sometimes, in small ways and big ways, sometimes to get through a situation you just have to grin and bear it! Put on a happy face, get through it, and make the most of it! If there’s a battle you’re not going to win, sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. Sheesh, this lesson has been so valuable to me here. I get frustrated with many things at school on a daily basis, and if I tried to constantly change all of these things, I would go CRAZY and would also be unsuccessful in changing most things, since they are larger systemic changes that are part of a bigger challenge than what I was brought here to the school for. So I grin and bear it, try to keep a positive attitude and push through it. There are certain battles I will choose to try to enter here, but only if I believe I can achieve a positive outcome without offending people while creating sustainable change. That narrows the scope of the battles I can choose! This lesson comes in handy for even the small things that can get to me during the day here, like when there’s a lot of manual work to do at night (water the garden, fetch water, etc) and I’m tired and just want to lay down. Grin and bear it and finish off the work because it’s just what you have to do. And when I get down or frustrated I think of my mom keepin’ on keepin’ on and I try to do the same! J

These lessons that were passed on to me through word and action keep me moving through the day with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. Because even though life’s not fair and sometimes I have to grin and bear it, life here is still sweet, and we are loving each and every one of our experiences. Thanks Mom and Dad!! Love you!

My chance to be the homecoming king…

Jordan here: The exposure we Peace Corps Volunteers get to the native residents is all part of the experience. Some relish it, some despise it, but most are somewhere in the middle. It can really depend on the day and the mood you’re in. There are definitely days when kids in Wa start singing the Nahnsahla (Walle/Dagari word for white person) song and I want to chase them down with one of those pool toy noodles. When I do actually try to show my anger/disapproval with the reference and attention, they usually think we’re playing a game and just laugh. I still need to work on my Ghanaian parent scolding voice and combine it with years of feeling my mom’s laser eye when I was acting out of line. She always had her way of healthy discipline, and so do Ghanaians…when they feel like disciplining…sometimes not enough. Anyway, not to diverge any more, there are some times when I actually like to be the center of attention. I’m sure some or most of you are laughing right now, I don’t mind. One example is like when we’re riding in a car or biking past a crowd or riding an ox cart out to farm. Since greeting is so important, we do as much as reasonably possible. We’ve even heard of stories of people not stopping to help a broken down car because the broken down driver didn’t greet the car as they passed them 20 minutes earlier on the road. As we go by, we’re constantly waving, smiling, shaking hands, etc. I feel like the next step is throwing Tootsie Rolls and having our representatives slap stickers with our names in big letters on the shirts of kids running next to us. I’ve even been working on my ‘elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist’ and ‘unscrew the light bulb’ waving techniques. Hence I start feeling like the Homecoming King. Of course many of you know Sarah literally was the Homecoming Queen at NDSU, so Peace Corps has given me a chance to be her equal in the popularity column ;-)

Today was one of those days where I was in a good mood and loved the fact that kids and adults alike call out their respective name for white man and I get to smile and wave back. I was in Wenchi helping out with a cashew pilot project using smart phone technology to improve traceability of transactions between farmers and buyers. It’s a project supported financially and technologically from the German equivalent of USAID. It was really cool to work with more small villages in the field on teaching and seeing the smiles of awe of the technology they could access. You can tell in the back of their heads they’re excited they are part of some very cool development projects. Anyway, as we drove by in our fancy schmancy pickup trucks, they would raise a hand in greeting as if it was reflex and not really expecting a sincere response. I loved seeing their faces light up as a genuinely waved back at them with a smile and they waved back emphatically.

I get a little feeling of what it’s like to be a celebrity, or a politician, or homecoming royalty. Whether or not I like it, it will be this way, to varying degrees, the whole time in Ghana. That’s why, before we go home, Peace Corps prepares us to NOT be the center of attention. I guess I should just be appreciative of the opportunity to live out more of those days that I relish being the center of attention before they’re gone and I’m just like everyone else…